Tuesday, November 1, 2011

less than a month!

I feel like rambling...

In less than a month I will be getting married to my best friend. It's awesome. And I'm finally, FINALLY ready to start getting fit again. I think.

The truth is my stress has been killer lately. I'm back on my medication (which has helped immensely) and can finally be productive...more than usual, anyway. I've gained thirty pounds since starting my second job. My wedding dress fits but it's snug. I haven't been eating more, but I haven't been eating well. I don't even think I consume the recommended amount of calories for someone of my stature, but still I've gained weight. My goal was to start exercising again at the beginning of September when something unexpected happened and I had to get that minor surgery. Yuck. Almost four weeks out of work and basically out of commission. I was a mess. A pathetic mess. Such a mess that I, of all people, had to ask for help. My sister had to come up and stay for a few weeks to help take care of me. And I had to ask a friend for help getting to and from a follow-up where I experienced the most excruciating pain of my life and had to be left alone in the doctor's office to sob uncontrollably and inconsolably for about 15 minutes. And I might have to undergo more surgery, depending on how my December follow-up goes. But I've been healing well for the last month and the pain is minimal. The only thing that's been stopping me from exercise is laziness. It is so hard to get up in the morning and then so hard to do anything when I finally get home from work. It's gross. I don't know why everything seems so much easier for other people.

I'm committing to myself in print right here and right now that I am going to get up early tomorrow morning and do something. Even if it's just stretching. I'm going to eat breakfast before I leave for work. I'm going to make sure John has lunch to take to work. That's what's going to happen.

I got new glasses today. They are pretty bitchin'. It's so weird being able to see so clearly...

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